Kind vs. Stern

There is a joke from the comedian Emo Phillips, that goes like this…

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: “Stop. Don’t do it.” “Why shouldn’t I?” he asked. “Well, there’s so much to live for!” “Like what?” “Are you religious?” He said: “Yes.” I said: “Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?” “Christian.” “Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?” “Protestant.” “Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?” “Baptist.””Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?” “Baptist Church of God.” “Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?” “Reformed Baptist Church of God.” “Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?” He said: “Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.” I said: “Die, heretic scum,” and pushed him off.

There is a term coined by the psychologist Sigmund Freud in 1917 called the narcissism of small differences which occurs with communities that have adjoining territories and close relationships are especially likely to engage in feuds and mutual ridicule because of hypersensitivity to details of differentiation. For example, take two people who are vastly different than one another and they will be neutral to the others views and opinions. Now compare that to two people who are 99% similar in all their ideology, but over that differing 1% they will have the greatest disdain for that other person.

We see this behavior particularly frequently in religious audiences, where two groups will see eye to eye on so many things, but may have a slight difference of understanding on some topic and because of that will label the other side a hypocrite idol worshiper, or disbeliever.